Safety
by TwistedSky
Summary: Raj was safe. Evan wasn't. But safe and right weren't necessarily the same thing. Evan/Divya.


I disclaim. I dedicate my first Royal Pains fic to my lovely twitterpal iamlykajane.  
Set post-Hankover, then goes . . . into the future!

* * *

"_I'm the lucky one . . . Divya's brilliant, and kind, and dedicated to helping others. And so I'm dedicated to never taking her for granted."_

Raj was a good, honorable man.

For some reason, that just made her feel worse, not better.

She and Raj were well-matched. They would be married, and they would have a strong, loving partnership. They would be comfortable together, stable, and _safe_.

She was a woman who wanted those things-she liked when things made sense, when they were simple, but challenging-that was, after all, why she was a PA. Everything had to make sense, there were causes for every ailment, and generally ways to fix each of them. But it wasn't always easy, and it was rarely dull.

Divya wondered whether her relationship with Raj would become . . . Boring, after a while.

She wondered if it weren't already.

Her relationship with Raj made her fairly complacent. She trusted him, and after seeing the video, she realized that she truly had good reasons to do so.

It was a good thing. Predictable. It was _nice_.

Ever since Hank and Evan had entered her life, everything had been a bit . . . Messier. She didn't like it, but there were times when it was . . . Entertaining. Fun. Nice-but of an entirely different sort of niceness.

Raj's reasoning for not cheating on her had not included loving her. Sure, he said he did, but . . . He wasn't _in love_ with her.

She loved him, truly. But she wasn't in love with him.

There really was a difference.

It reminded her of that song from _Into the Woods_, the one where Cinderella sings about how utterly nice the ball and the prince were. Just so _nice._

Nice was boring.

But it was comfortable and safe and-Divya didn't know if that was enough anymore.

Maybe she wanted more. She'd gotten her taste of life . . . And it had been eye-opening.

She was no longer content.

Nice was no longer enough.

But that didn't stop her from trying.

After all, Divya was not a quitter.

* * *

She was married. To Raj. It felt . . . wrong. Not in a world-ending sort of way. Just, not right.

They'd been married for two weeks.

Two dreadfully dull weeks.

And she hadn't left the Hamptons. Raj had initially been worried about that, but she'd convinced him that for now, she belonged where she was. Her parents had been furious.

But now she was alone, back from her honeymoon, eating cheesecake and drinking huge amounts of wine.

She normally wasn't the type of woman to comfort herself that way, but she was making an exception.

She stared at some rather insignificant reality television show and briefly considered getting away. From everything.

She picked up her cell phone, and called _him_. The one person who for some reason-which she knew in her heart, but avoided in the light of day-wasn't included in getting away from everything.

"It's Divya. Will you come over, please?"

* * *

They were friends. Actually friends.

He wasn't just the guy she teased and not-so-secretly thought was too childish and cavalier about things that were genuinely life and death serious.

He was Evan, her friend.

She was not in love with him. After all, how could she be? He was just Evan. Annoying, bed-hopping Evan. Materialistic, selfish Evan.

Being in love with him would be foolish. For a brief instant, Divya imagined being with Evan, felt a surge of all-consuming joy, and then clamped down on her emotions, feeling a stinging pain that reminded her that Evan was not in love with her. And she was married to Raj.

So now they were sitting, watching reality television together. Eating cheesecake, and drinking too much wine.

"Why exactly did you invite me over here, Div?"

"I don't know. I wanted company."

"And so you chose me." He didn't really seem surprised so much as sad. Almost wistful.

"Yes."

"Okay." He smiled, in that oh-so-Evan way. And he grabbed the remote off of her lap. "We really need to stop watching this trash."

"What do you suggest we watch instead?"

"SoapNet."

"Because that's not trashy at all."

"Oh, it is, but much more entertaining trash."

* * *

She awoke and felt warmth. She was on top of Evan, on her couch. On her and Raj's couch. She nearly groaned, but then realized she didn't really want Evan to wake up in this predicament.

Her head was pounding. She carefully lifted herself off Evan, when she realized that he was already awake.

"Hey Div. Morning."

"Yes, yes it is," she glanced at her watch. "Or more like afternoon."

"Yup. I think we probably had too much to drink last night."

Divya squinted her eyes when she turned to him and was bombarded by a blast of bright light. "Did . . . something happen last night? My memory is a bit hazy."

"Of course not. I'd never do that to you, and you'd never cheat on your husband, drunk or not."

"Of course." Probably.

"Anyway, well, unless you need more comforting, I should go."

It felt like he was waiting her to give him a reason why he shouldn't.

She didn't, of course. "Yes, you should go."

"I'll, um, see you later."

She could ask him to come, but she couldn't ask him to stay.

* * *

Things got more complicated, day by day.

They ate meals together. Watched movies together. Went mini-golfing.

But they were just friends. She was married, and he wasn't her husband.

There were moments when she pretended they were together. Whenever she did, she cut herself off, and would avoid him for a few days, until she needed to see him again.

Raj was often out of town, and even when he was in town, it didn't really matter.

Evan was the man she wanted to be with. As friends, of course, she assured herself. Whenever they were close enough physically that she could just lean over and kiss him, she tested herself. She'd get a little bit closer, and never break.

The only thing that broke was her heart.

Because she was in love with Evan.

Madly, in-sustainably, ridiculously in love with him. It was rather bad luck that she hadn't had this revelation before the wedding.

She might have stopped it then.

She couldn't, however, stop herself from being in love with Evan.

The worst part is that she didn't want to stop herself. Being with him made her feel free and happy. She could just be Divya. With others, she was the PA. She was a daughter, a wife. People expected things from her. Evan accepted her.

She wondered sometimes if she'd be able to accept him, flaws and all. Sometimes she told herself that she wouldn't. But that was a lie.

* * *

"Divya? What's wrong?" Evan got down from the stool he'd been perched on and walked over to her, hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

She didn't look okay. She was a mess. The crazed look in her eyes probably didn't help things much. "I think so."

"Okay, um, why don't you sit down here," he tried to scoot her towards a chair.

"No. I-I'm leaving Raj. I mean, I've left him. We're getting our marriage annulled."

He blinked. He didn't know what to say to that. "Your parents are going to kill you." And that was what came to mind.

"I'm not in love with him."

"That didn't seem to bother you before." It came out a little more harshly than he'd planned.

"I wasn't in love with someone else, before."

Oh. "You're-you're in love with someone else? That's good. I'm happy for you. Not so happy for Raj, but hey, love talks, you listen. Except, you're not really the listening to love talk kind of girl, are you?"

"I wasn't."

"But you are now." It was more a statement than question.

Divya hadn't expected it to go this way. She wondered if she'd been wrong, if what she'd thought she'd seen in his eyes had only been a reflection of what had been in hers. Maybe he really only flirted with her because she was a woman, and he was a womanizer. Maybe he hadn't changed. Maybe-

"Maybe I was wrong," she said softly to herself. "I need to leave."

"Maybe you should."

She started to leave, then right when she was about to leave the room, she turned around and propelled herself quickly into Evan's arms, kissing him with everything that she was. With every ounce of passion and love.

"Maybe you shouldn't." He corrected himself when they pulled apart.

"I'm in love with you, foolish Evan."

"I'm in love with you too, uptight Divya."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Maybe if he had she wouldn't have married Raj. Maybe they wouldn't have spent the past months together, but not.

"I was waiting for you." Because she was the one who had been engaged. She was the one who was married. So she had to make the first move. She understood.

"You don't have to wait anymore."

"That's good. Really good," he leaned in and took hold of her, "because I've never really been big on the whole 'patience' thing."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"It shouldn't. The fact that it doesn't, of course, and hasn't scared you away, means that we might actually have a chance."

"Might? No, not exactly. We have a chance. And we're going to try not to mess it up."

"Okay."

It was better than safe-it was _right_. And there would be no more waiting, they would just be together.

And they wouldn't mess it up. Most likely, anyway.

* * *

Review?


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